Book One Progress: That Part

It's been hard finding time to blog. Or to find something I feel like saying.

This week I wanted to write about writing ethnic minority characters, but I think I'll wait on that until later. It was applicable when I planned it, but now I'm working on something else. So look for that in the future, if you're interested.

Instead, I want to talk about my novel, or rather the progress of my novel. As you might know, I'm currently writing the first book of what I envision as a series of four. I'm not really sure what genre to label it--there's a blend of the paranormal, science fiction, and a little magic, but it's all very real-world based, so I guess it falls into magical realism. It is definitely teen lit. As a writer who hasn't been writing for some time, it's one of those pet projects I've had lying around for the last ten years (not exaggerating), but has changed so much it barely resembles the project it once was. I'm glad for that. I'm glad it took me so long to really work on it. I'm glad I scrapped beginning chapters, restructured the entire plot, the main character, and let it develop organically. It's at that stage now where I'm really excited about what I want to do with it, and where I see it going, and I know it's probably a big mess now, but that's what revision is for--fixing the mess. But that's all exposition and totally here just to provide some grounding for anyone reading this as to what my big project is all about.

My point is that I'm at that chapter. One of them, anyway. That chapter I've been dreaming about in my head for ages. That chapter I've been so excited to write that part of my motivation has been writing just to get here. At this moment. It's the second time I've hit this point in this book (there are three in the first book, and so many more in the entire series), but this is the really big one. The one that's going to set absolutely everything in motion for the remaining duration of the series even if it doesn't seem like it. I'm a little terrified to write it.

I have a problem with trusting my writing. I know what I want to say, and I'm pretty good at letting my characters say what they want to say, but I'm so bad about not editing my characters. I revise too soon (too often as I'm writing, which is a problem). I second-guess myself--that my writing isn't good enough. And I never feel this as strongly as when I get to these points--these important points that I'm dying to write but that I think I'll totally fuck up.

I can place blame for this one primarily in youthful arrogance. As a teenager I thought I was a pretty good writer, and now when I look back on that work, I want to gag myself with a spoon. It makes me wonder if all my writing was that bad (it wasn't--I am sometimes impressed by the work I did in my early twenties, mainly because it doesn't make me cringe, and while there are problematic areas I can recognize, I wish I could have seen my own progress at the time--maybe I wouldn't have quit). And here I jump again too far ahead of myself. Because now I'm second-guessing how my writing will come across now, and there's no way to know. Not now, anyway, and I really am of the belief it doesn't matter if I have a novel of crap because that's easier to revise than nothing. I need a complete story before I can solicit feedback. I know that, but it's hard for me to accept that.

So for a discussion topic, I find my weakness to be second-guessing myself. What are/were your writing-related weaknesses and what do you do to overcome them?

Mental Illness in Writing

As many of you will soon learn (or for anyone reading the sidebar), I'm currently a college student. With this being the case, I spend a significant amount of my time interacting with other students in my classes. This semester I'm taking a play-writing class in order to expand my writing horizons, and naturally, we discuss the process of writing for an audience, but also the content of our classmates’ work.

For the past two weeks my class has been working on structuring a five-point plot and writing at least ten pages of it. During discussions of our plot points and through reading my classmates' plays, I couldn't help but notice a trend. Many of these works dealt with mental illness in the climax, as the distinguishing characteristic of the protagonist, or within another character as a conflict the protagonist must overcome. Not any specific mental illness by name, generally, but with a clear suggestion that the mental illness was an issue.

Now, I can't deny that the spiral into madness is a classic drama/fiction technique. It is employed just as often as suicide and murder, both of which my classmates take advantage of almost as readily. Personally, though, this experience raised a lot of questions for me. I can't help but wonder to what level sensitivity to people with mental illnesses needs to be applied in today's age. How should mental illnesses be approached and utilized in different forms of creative writing? What purposes do and should they serve in building a story?

I've never been the most politically correct person, and sanitizing everything in art (no matter what its form) takes a little away from creativity and craft for me. I do think, however, that a certain level of sensitivity is required. When one of my classmates decides to write a play that employs a magical object called 'happy pills,' for example, and attention is called to the connotation this phrase colloquially bears with antidepressants, this is something that should be taken into account--not swept under the rug because they don't “work the same” as anti-depressants. When dealing with mental illness (or anything that can be construed as such) it's paramount to be aware that some people suffer from these illnesses, even if you don't. Personally, I do, and whether they work the same or not, a "happy pill" will always mean an "anti-depressant" to me. And if that connotation isn’t what you’re going for, then reworking some ideas is probably necessary, because if two people jump to same conclusion right away, more are sure to follow.

It's not just a matter of sensitivity, either. It's cheap to always fall back on insanity or a disorder. There are a thousand conflicts people encounter in life to draw from. While many people suffer from one or more disorders, most people don't "go crazy" from them, kill someone, or commit suicide. Locking people up in insane asylums doesn't work the same way it used to, either. While the use of mental illness can be compelling when dealing with the difficulties of that illness, using it for shock value or to explain a character’s motivation feels weak and rings hollow in current times. If you character does kill someone, I’d rather it be because of a culmination of events, rather than a mental illness. I’d rather something more grounded in common experience.

How do you feel about the use of mental illness in narrative? Tried and true or cheap and overdone? How much sensitivity should be given when dealing with mental illness? When is mental illness appropriate in writing? Sound off below.

Fiction: Step Three

All great nights end with Chinese food. At least that’s what I heard once, from a college guy with beer on his breath and clutching a plastic bag bearing a yellow smiley face. I still don’t know why he chose to tell me this—I’d never seen the kid before in my life and all I was trying to do was get home from work—but the phrase really stuck with me. It was like some archaic, secret wisdom had been passed on to me by a mystical sprite in the form of some drunk kid I didn’t know who was there one moment and pissing in the street the next. It was like I needed to hear that—like it would be important somewhere down the line—and that I’d been chosen to hear such wisdom not by chance, but fate. Andrea thinks I’m insane.

Doing It "Right"

As I write this first post of my first writing blog, I'm still unsure of whether I'm doing it "right." 

I call myself a writer, but I have never been published, and I haven't even written much in many years.  I've been one of those non-writing writers, suffering from a bad case of writer's block, or maybe a lack of confidence in my writing.  Nevertheless, I'm trying to write now.  This blog is just one such attempt to make this thing happen.

As the customary first post, I thought it fitting to talk about starting.  Everywhere I look there are lists of dos and don'ts from the best ways to get published to the number of spaces to use after a period.

My most recent trouble with all the well-intentioned advice about choosing a pen name.  I had various reasons for choosing one. My real last name makes me spit when I say it. I wanted something gender neutral. Apparently there are right and wrong reasons to choose one, though, and a method to choosing. It's almost scientific.

Like this, but a lot less useful.

I picked Lex Morgan, but I still wonder. Is it the "right" one?  I wanted something short, easy to remember, and easy to spell.  I've always liked the name Alex, but the sound of the 'a' at the beginning of the name bothered me.  Morgan is a stock name I've used for years. I even had two characters in my novel until I renamed them both.

All of these people used to be named Morgan.

This blog will contain a sundry of personal posts and fiction. I'm working on a novel series, so progress updates will be here, too.

So that's me. Hi. Hope we get to know each other.